Just Fifteen
by SeeingXxViolet
Summary: Nadeshiko Fujisaki attends a great school, has great friends, and great prospects - she is leading the perfect life. But when she falls pregnant, her entire world is turned upside down.
1. A Million Ways To Fall

**Hi X3**

**So, I was motivated to try writing a fanfic like this, just for something different. I don't know how well it'll turn out, or if I'll finish it. I hope I will, though. It's AU, because the twins are, well, actual twins. I'll probably think of more to say later, but for now, I hope you like it!**

_**

* * *

**_

**A _Million _Ways_ To_ Fall****

* * *

**

'Pivot full, Nadeshiko-san. Not half.'

'Yes, Oka-san. Sorry,' I replied, repeating the steps again, determined to get it right. But my heart wasn't in it today. Or, my head wasn't. I brushed my bangs out of my face, trying to focus. Temari hovered before me, eyes wide with concern.

I smiled at her, the dismissive smile that said _I'm fine._ That probably only increased her worry.

'Nadeshiko, you should stop,' she berated me softly; following my movements with an expert's eye, and knowing that they were slightly off.

I shook my head and quickly turned away from her, not wanting to be hassled further. That was a mistake. On turning, my vision dimmed and my head felt weightless, as if I was slipping away. I tried to focus on the spot of flooring in front of me, hoping that if I could just keep that spot within my vision, the rest would stay as well. But moments later that floor and all else in the waking world were gone to me, and I disappeared into safe blackness.

'Nadeshiko!' A small fluttering thing landed on my face, and stayed there. I shifted, trying to shoo it away. 'Nadeshiko, wake up!'

'Don't...' I opened my eyes a little, and saw Temari's purple ones staring back.

'Nadeshiko-san, you're awake!' spoke another voice, which I determined to be my mother's. She kneeled beside me and plopped a wet cloth on my face. Temari squealed and fluttered out of the way.

I sat up slowly, the cloth falling off. My ears rang, and my face felt freezing cold. 'I've asked you to call me Nadeshiko when we're not practising...'

My mother's wide brown eyes were deeply upset. She bit her lip; something she only did when she was worried about me or my brother. 'Nadeshiko, why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling well? Dance is important, but health always comes first. Oh, and now you've gone and fainted, poor girl, I expect I'm working you too hard. I guess you'll be staying home from school tomorrow, here, let me put this cloth back...'

I gently pushed the cloth away. 'Oka-san, I'm _fine_,' I reassured her. I gave her a quick hug, and stood up, albeit shakily. 'I'll just go to my room and rest, okay?'

'Well, okay. But I'll send Nagihiko in to check on you in a bit.'

'It's alright; you don't need to do that.' I smiled to show her it was really okay, and she seemed to believe me, because she let me go.

Once in the privacy of my room, I sighed and dropped to my knees, exhausted.

Temari had been silent, until now. 'Nadeshiko, you're lying. You're sick. What's wrong?'

'I don't know,' I admitted. I thought back to lunch time at school today. I hadn't been able to keep down anything I ate, and if it hadn't been for Tadase's quick thinking, I'd have soiled the brassy glory of the school's trophy cabinet. Nevertheless, it was one fake wig that our deputy principal would never be able to wear again.

'I'm probably just over-tired,' I told Temari, settling down on the low bedding. It wasn't that surprising, with the stress of dance, and school, and exams, and on top of everything else...

No. It couldn't be that.

I took my hair out of its ponytail, shaking my head a little and laughing at myself. I was fifteen. It was probably nothing _like_ that.

But still, it was possible.

* * *

I ducked through the glass door of the pharmacy just as sheets of rain began pouring down, blanketing the city sky in hues of purple and grey. Temari was sheltered in my long black hair, but knew better than to say anything. I ignored sideways glances from customers and stood straight as I walked down the aisle where the pregnancy tests were located, hoping to appear older and more confident than I felt. In truth, I thought my heart might leap out of my throat.

I took the nearest box of tests and approached the counter. The clerk popped her bubblegum loudly and told me the price, and I handed her the exact amount. She looked like she couldn't care less, which suited me fine. 'Which way to the restrooms, please?'

She pointed one manicured finger in the direction of the ladies room, and I went, feeling her idle stare boring into my back.

I tried to breathe steadily as I awaited the results of the test in my hands. I shook my head – I was being silly, really. I was Nadeshiko Fujisaki. Bright, talented, effortlessly popular, and on my way to becoming a professional dancer. This kind of thing just didn't happen to people like me. People who were going somewhere. Yes, I'd screwed up. But this was a scare, nothing more. That's what I told myself, but it didn't stop my shoulders from trembling or my stomach from doing somersaults as I sat anxiously in the bathroom stall.

I looked at my watch, my hand shaking so hard I could barely read it. Seven minutes had passed – more than enough time. I squeezed my eyes shut and looked downwards, ready to feel relieved and assured of my perfection.

I opened my eyes, and instead what I felt was my heart plummeting down into the pit of my stomach.

It was positive.

Faintness hit just seconds after the shock did, and I dug my nails into my palm, trying to pull myself together. This couldn't be happening, and yet it was. Okay. I could deal with that. I stood up, and surprised myself by how calmly I exited the bathroom and the pharmacy. On the outside I was still perfect, serene Nadeshiko, and nothing had changed.

I exited the glass doors and pulled my hood up around my head, with Temari concealing herself under it. It was still bucketing rain. I went into a narrow alley between that building and another, and only then did I allow myself to succumb to the harsh shock. I sat on a crate and pulled my knees to my chest, hot tears mingling with the spattering raindrops. I felt sobs wracking my body, and allowed them. I didn't know how to deal with this. A thousand thoughts should have been running through my head – what kind of medical care would be needed, how I'd get through school, what I'd need to learn to be able to actually raise another human being. But I couldn't focus on any of those things. I was far too young to cope with something like this.

I don't know how long I spent like that – it could have been minutes, it could have been hours. But eventually I stood, realising I shouldn't have been out in such torrential rain. If I went home now, there would definitely be questions. There was only one place to go. My feet seemed to move of their own accord, pounding against the wet concrete with more strength than I'd thought I had, and I let them carry me away.

As I ran down city streets and poorly lit alleyways, I found myself thinking back to that night. The howling wind and threateningly dark sky somehow reminded me of him, and of how _right_ he had seemed. At the time, it had never even occurred to me that there might be repercussions. I had been so enthralled by the way his deft musician's hands had worked their way across my flawless white skin. His deep blue eyes had possessed something _wild_ about them, something I wanted so badly, a world of freedom that I'd never known in all my life. Everything about him seemed untameable, and experiencing that was like an exotic flavour – wonderful and mysterious, and so enticing, something I might never have tasted again. I wanted to get wrapped up in his world, and for just one night I had wanted to leave behind dance and competition and the thought of knowing exactly where I would be going and what I would be doing tomorrow, and forever. I had never anticipated that my desire to _change_ something would come true in this most extreme of ways.

These were the thoughts that occupied my mind as I turned and ran down a familiar street and up the most welcoming stairs I knew of. The rain may still have been beating down on me, but my shivering lessened almost in an instant, as if I had been suddenly encompassed in dryness and warmth.

* * *

If Amu Hinamori had looked 'cool and spicy' at age twelve, at age fifteen she was downright scary. Her bright pink hair hung down her back, a thin braid in the front section tied off with one of her X clips. Her angular figure had developed into a curvy one, but somehow, instead of making her look softer it only made her look edgier. Her gothic Lolita style had matured to incorporate a wide range of other styles – probably Miki's influence – and by any definition, it looked great on her. Even the position of her hands and the angle her head tilted at spoke of attitude.

But I knew the soft girl behind the facade. On opening the front door Amu took one look at me, flung her arms around my shoulders, and ushered me inside. She didn't speak, but instead pushed me down the hallway and towards the stairs.

I realised that Yaya and Rima were there, entertaining Ami in the living room. Yaya had artfully piled Rima's hair atop her head in a beehive style, like women wore in the sixties. Rima beheld herself in a mirror Yaya had handed her, a look of extreme displeasure etched across her pretty face. On my entrance, however, both looked up in surprise.

'What...?' Yaya began, but Amu hurried me up the stairs and away from those concerned, unbearable gazes.

Amu sat me down on her bed and handed me a glass of water. 'Drink.'

It was a rule we had. If someone was upset, they didn't explain why until they'd had a glass of water. It helped.

Temari emerged from my hood and floated over to Amu, hovering before her emphatically. 'Oh. Right,' Amu said after a moment, and she retrieved a fresh towel from her wardrobe. I took it obediently.

Only after I had calmed down sufficiently did she start asking questions. 'Nadeshiko... what's wrong?'

The trust and concern in her golden eyes was so overwhelmingly earnest that I had to look away. She didn't try to hug me or touch me at all, probably sensing that I couldn't handle it right at that moment.

'It's – I –' my voice faltered, and I took a breath and started again. 'I did something... really, well, stupid, and – I don't know what to do –' I tried to push back the choking sensation.

'What did you do?' she asked softly.

I hesitated.

Then I told her. 'I slept with Ikuto Tsukiyomi.'

A number of emotions came over Amu's face. Hurt, quickly disguised. Shock, mostly. And... confusion. Yes, it was bad. But it didn't warrant me running to her house in the pouring rain, and in this state.

'There's... more?' she asked hesitantly. I think I regretted my actions so much more in that instant than I had done before. It was the worst thing I'd done in all of this, hurting Amu. I knew of her feelings for Ikuto, of course I knew. I would never speak of it, because of her relationship with Tadase, and because of the endless other complexities that so often prevented two people who cared about each other from being together in this world. But it was just something I understood, like all the unspeakable things she knew about me – things that never came up on the surface, but things we _knew,_ because we were kindred spirits. Two of a kind. And I think that's how she knew what I would say next, even before I said it.

I nodded and said simply, 'I'm pregnant.'

* * *

**And thus completes the first chapter. Are there things you like about it? Things you don't? Then please review, and let me know!**

**Uh, and I almost forgot the disclaimer: I don't own Shugo Chara! or any of the characters. If I did, well, I wouldn't be writing fanfics ;)**

**Thanks for reading!**


	2. The Circle Broken

**Kitase-chan: New chapter~ thanks so much to the people who reviewed so far. Well, here is chapter two, and I hope you like it! I surprised myself by updating faster than I usually do, I'm going to try to keep that up ;)**

**Temari: Ahem. Disclaimer. She doesn't own Shugo Chara or any associated characters and whatnot. Though seeing as this is _fan_fiction, that should be obvious already.**

**Kitase-chan: XD**

**

* * *

**

**_2. _The **_**Circle**_** Broken****

* * *

**

A week had passed. The world around me seemed almost the same. This morning I walked to school with Nagihiko, who bounced his basketball idly on the concrete footpath. The weather was warmer, and comfortable sunlight rested placidly on our shoulders and played through the branches of nearby trees, a welcome guest. The grass had been nourished by the rain and now, under brighter daylight, the full vibrancy of its green was visible. Younger kids and older people alike were out and enjoying the weather.

Nagihiko slowed his pace and waited for me to catch up. When I was walking alongside him, he asked, "What's up, Nade? You seem out of it."

The concern was visible in his amber eyes. He stopped walking and turned to face me, waiting for an answer. "Everything's fine," I responded, hoping I sounded convincing.

There was never any point in lying to Nagihiko. He raised his eyebrows at me. "Maybe you should see a doctor. You've been like this all week."

Suddenly I couldn't conceal this from my brother any longer. He was my other half – the one I always depended on, the one who always knew just what to do. I knew he could see right through me, and the truth was that I needed his help, because I was utterly lost. I took a breath and decided. I was going to tell him, right now.

"I did see a doctor," I told him matter-of-factly.

"I mean, it's not normal for you to be like this, and we're really worried, you know –"

'Nagihiko," I interrupted softly, "I _did_ see a doctor. A few days ago."

He stopped mid-sentence and looked at me, surprised. At my expression, his face paled. "Oh, my goodness... it's serious?"

I shook my head quickly. "No... I mean, it _is_ serious, but it's not the way you think. But – I – I'm just... so lost, I don't know what to do about anything..."

Nagi looked terrified. "Nadeshiko, _what?_ You're really freaking me out. What's going on?"

It was impossible to hide, and before I knew it, the words spilled out. "I'm not sick. I'm – pregnant."

At first Nagihiko's expression was blank, uncomprehending. And then the first part of what I said processed, and he looked relieved. And finally, the last part processed, and the full import of what I had said dawned on him. He dropped the basketball, leaned forward and pressed his hands on his knees, shocked. "Oh. _Oh._ Oh, my goodness. That's why you've been – and that's why... Oh. Shit, Nade. What are you going to _do?_"

I flushed. "I don't know." I pressed my knuckles against my lips. Telling Nagi was supposed to help, but right now I only felt worse.

Nagi looked up and, seeing my face, raised his hands hurriedly. "Whoa – hey – don't cry. Are you, like, hormonal and stuff already?"

"I'm not hormonal; this is a perfectly legitimate thing to be upset about!"

An elderly couple walking past stared at us, and I realised I had been raising my voice. "S-sorry," I said more quietly. "I mean, I don't think I am; I don't think that kicks in until later. But I don't even know. That's how little I know about this." I dropped my face into my hands. I didn't know what else to do, or say.

Nagihiko put his arms around me. "Sshh, it'll be okay," he soothed. "How long have you known? Have you told anyone else?" He squeezed me comfortingly, and I squeezed back.

"I've known for about a week. And I told Amu." Amu had persuaded me to go to the doctor and to start taking pre-natal vitamins. She knew more about this than I did, I guess because she had helped her parents with Ami so much.

"Okay. Now," he hesitated. "Have you decided what you're going to do? I mean, are you going to carry through with the pregnancy?"

I nodded. There was no way I was going to terminate it. I couldn't.

He exhaled, relieved. "Okay. Well, first thing is first. We need to do some research. I'll go with you to the library after school, we can use the computers and maybe there'll be some books. You don't have to figure this out by yourself, you know."

I hugged him tightly. "Thanks, Nagi."

He rubbed my back and then let go. "Don't worry about it." Suddenly he looked puzzled, as if something else had just occurred to him. "Is Kukai...?"

I shook my head.

"Then who...?"

"Ikuto Tsukiyomi."

"Oh. Wow." Nagi looked like he was considering asking something else, but didn't. Instead we walked to school in silence, but it was a comfortable silence, and for the first time since I had found out about my pregnancy, I actually started to feel like things might possibly turn out okay. Just knowing that my twin knew made me feel safer somehow, as if no matter how badly I screwed up, he would always be there to pick up the pieces in that way that only he knew how.

* * *

On walking through the school gates, I was immediately swept up in a bear hug. I tried to breathe. "Hey, Kukai." I pressed my hands against his chest, gently pushing him off me.

He grinned and let me go. "Hey, babe." I stood with my back to the wall and he faced me, leaning slightly over me, positively beaming with delight at my arrival. His brilliant green eyes sparkled, and sunlight filtering through the trees framed his head. The light dappled his auburn hair, making it appear a rich bronze colour. Several girls walking past regarded me jealously, but I ignored them.

Nagihiko laughed and continued through the gates. "I'll talk to you later, Nade," he called easily, and I nodded back, hoping Kukai wouldn't see the anxiety in my face.

Kukai's eyes narrowed at me suspiciously.

Then he laughed. "You're wearing the new perfume. You like it. I knew you would."

I nodded. "I do like it, Kukai. It's pretty."

He grinned again and nudged my fringe out of my eyes. "That's why it reminded me of you." Wasting no time, Kukai leaned down and softly brushed his lips against mine. The kiss was surprisingly gentle, even sweet. It picked up in pace, though, soon becoming passionate. Kukai was in a particularly indulgent mood today. But I couldn't respond the way I should have, the way I usually would have. While Kukai kissed me, I remembered lips that were smoother yet stronger, and I remembered feeling desperate, somehow, desperate for more. Kukai's arm hooked around the small of my back, and I recalled how much that simple act had meant when it had been Ikuto's arms instead. I felt like a liar just touching Kukai. The wrong person here was me, but somehow it felt as if Kukai was the intruder. And I couldn't stand the thought of hurting him, but I didn't know how to stop.

After a short while, Kukai pulled away. He looked down at me seriously, green eyes worried – probably worried that _he'd_ done something wrong. "What's the matter, Nade? You're not really into it."

I shook my head and smiled up at him. "Nothing's the matter, Kukai. Exam stress, that's all."

"Exam stress, huh." Kukai nodded, but looked as if he didn't really understand. The word 'stress' itself seemed to puzzle Kukai. He scratched his head, and then grinned. "Well, you know what the best cure for that is?"

Oh, no. Usually he only tormented Amu with these.

"Usually I only treat Hinamori with these. But, you know what I think it's time for?" He gripped my hand, and continued, "High speed dash!"

Kukai tugged me with shocking force, but I stood my ground. "Kukai, that's not really necessary –" and just then, the bell went off to indicate the start of class. It looked like the high speed dash was happening after all.

"Haha. Run!"

And with that we were off, racing past trees and benches and other students, bolting through the main entrance and up the stairs. 'Kukai!' I protested, but it fell on deaf ears. Eventually Kukai halted, once we were outside my classroom. He turned to face me.

"Feeling better?" he asked.

I felt out of breath and disoriented. But those things aside, I _did_ feel better.

"Yeah. Thanks, Kukai," I said in honesty.

He beamed. "Anything for you, Nade," he said sincerely, and – after placing a light kiss on my forehead – he hurried off to his own classroom. But he paused and turned outside his classroom door – which was at the opposite end of the hallway – and called, "See you at lunch! Love you!" One of his friends laughed and ruffled his hair. Waving cheerfully, Kukai disappeared into the room.

Blushing, I entered my own classroom. Some friends saw my blush and teased me about it. I sat down in my chair and took my books out, feeling energised just from spending a short time in Kukai's presence.

* * *

At lunch time, I made my way to the outside picnic table my friends and I usually sat at. When I arrived, Amu, Nagihiko and Rima were already there. I sat down just in time to pick up on the last threads of their conversation.

"You're so lame," Rima was saying angrily. "Well, whatever. I don't care. Loser." She shoved her fork viciously into her cake and haughtily ate a piece. I didn't know how it was possible for someone to look so dainty even while they were angry. Nagihiko stared wordlessly at his own food; I could tell from the set of his shoulders that he was upset. Amu looked helplessly from Rima to Nagi and back. She looked immensely relieved when I sat down beside her.

"Now, now," I said as I took out my lunch, trying to sound consoling. We were all accustomed to their lovers' tiffs. "There's no need to get all worked up. You'll figure this out and your relationship will be stronger for it –"

"What would you know about relationships? Don't you just skip that and go straight to the sex?" Rima shot back venomously, her voice layered with meaning.

I was struck dumb for a second. "She... she knows?" I asked Amu.

"She overheard last week, when you came over. She came up to my room to get something, and she listened from outside the door." Amu glanced down at her lap uncomfortably.

The strained atmosphere was interrupted as Kukai and Tadase came to join us. Kukai announced their arrival with a 'Yo yo!' and sat across from me; Tadase taking the spot next to him and, confused at my pleading look, giving me a cheerful smile. My heart was beating as rapidly as a hummingbird's. Rima knew? Amu and Nagihiko I could trust no matter what, but Rima... we were friends, but, it was no secret that I wasn't her favourite person in the world.

Kukai glanced around at the other occupants of the table with dissatisfaction. Amu looked almost as nervous as I felt. Nagihiko looked depressed, and Rima was glaring daggers at her food.

"Geez, what's with this mood?" he complained loudly as he began to eat. "I can't wait until Yaya starts high school. This place seriously needs some lightening up." When he got no response, he sighed. "Oi, Tadase. Can you help me with my Art History homework now? It's actually _paint-_ful. Haha, do you guys get it? Paint-ful?" He arched his eyebrows upwards in amusement at his own terrible joke, looking around for some sign of cheer from the rest of us.

I realised I was supposed to laugh at the same time Amu, Tadase and Nagi did. "Oh. Ha, ha!" I said half-heartedly, and they echoed my forced laugh.

Kukai's joke did actually help to ease the tension somewhat. Nagihiko perked up, and asked, "Kukai, you're _still _having trouble with that? I spent ages explaining the Modernist rejection of Academic standards of art in the Western world to you yesterday. You could probably have just submitted my email as your homework and gotten full marks. Honestly." Nagi shook his head, deliberating whether to be exasperated or amused.

Kukai grinned sheepishly. "It totally went over my head," he admitted, shrugging.

After a while we were chatting easily, and the tense atmosphere had been almost entirely forgotten. Tadase rehearsed a speech for Modern Japanese, and Amu told us how she had won a cross-country race without the help of a character change at all. Nagihiko expressed annoyance when a bird tried to get at his lunch and succeeded, much to the amusement of the rest of us. Kukai laughed throughout every topic of every conversation, pausing only to flirt with me or reach his hand across the table and place it on mine.

Rima stood up to take her rubbish to the bin, and some wrappers fell on the ground. I automatically asked, "Can I help you with that, Rima-chan?"

"No thanks, skank," she replied.

And the tense atmosphere was back. "R-Rima-chan..." I said helplessly.

"Eh?" Kukai looked offended. "Rima, don't call Nade names," he scolded.

"Why not? It's true. Even ask her about it. She's a sl–"

"Rima!" This was Amu.

"Rima, don't." Nagihiko spoke to Rima for the first time since their argument. His voice was low and warning.

She glared at him. "I'll do whatever I want. It's about time he found out how much his girlfriend _really_ cares about him, anyway."

"I'm going to tell him. But please, not like this," I asked her quietly, but it was useless. I stared at my hands, resigning myself to what was to come.

Both Kukai and Tadase looked utterly confused. "What is going _on?_" Kukai asked exasperatedly. He looked from me to Rima and back, eyes searching. "Will someone please fill me in?"

Rima's eyes flashed up to Kukai. "Nadeshiko's pregnant. She slept with Ikuto Tsukiyomi."

There was complete silence. Dumbfounded, Kukai looked at me for confirmation, and I gave a small nod.

Kukai stared at the table in shock for a moment. His emerald eyes filled up with anger, and so much hurt. His shoulders trembled, and I dug my nails into my lap, hating myself.

Kukai spoke, and his voice sounded broken. "Wow... _Brilliant,_ Nade. You manage in yet another way to turn me into a complete loser. As if that's not what I am to you already. So, what? You and Ikuto got bored, and hey, it's not like Kukai's going to know, stupid, goofy, idiotic Kukai," he said bitterly.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, my voice wavering.

His voice started to rise in volume, causing some people to glance over at us in curiosity, as he said vehemently, "_Sorry?_ Ha! Yeah, right. Sorry that you got knocked up, sure. But obviously you wouldn't think twice about me. You know Rima's right, Nade, you really are an easy s–"

"Shut your mouth," Nagihiko growled. His eyes narrowed at Kukai dangerously.

"Ha! Shut your mouth? Is that what Ikuto said to you, Nade? I'll bet.' Kukai noticed that people were beginning to stare, and, standing away from his seat, he waved his arms around emphatically and proclaimed aloud, 'Come one, come all, and see Nadeshiko, the – "

He would have continued that sentence had Nagihiko not leapt up and seized him savagely by the scruff of his shirt, pushing him back several steps. Kukai was taller than Nagihiko, but not by much, and Nagihiko looked so furious at this point that even someone standing on the other side of the school grounds would have been scared. "Don't. Ever. Talk. That. Way. About. Her."

"And why the hell not?" Kukai retorted. The audience had grown, especially now that people sensed an oncoming fight. "Because what I say would apply to you as well? You Fujisakis are all the same. It's probably why your Dad's not around –"

And that was all it took. Nagihiko launched into Kukai with frightening force, hitting him hard. Kukai recovered from the initial shock before retaliating, and the two were at each other's throats, pounding into each other ferociously. It was hard to see who had the upper hand, both boys fought with such brutality. Amu gasped, her hands flying to her mouth. I think she would have tried to say or do something, but had no idea what to do. I could only watch in dread, as each fist made a sickening _thump_ when it came in contact with the other's body. My stomach lurched at the sound.

Tadase reacted almost instantly, and I mentally thanked the heavens for Tadase. He leapt up and tried to intervene, his voice ringing out with a commanding authority, "Break it up! Calm _down._" Kukai spun away from Nagihiko after one particularly forceful blow and Tadase took it as an opportunity to step in between the two, seizing Nagi's arms before he could begin another attack. "That's _enough._ Stop it, both of you." Kukai made one last attempt to get at Nagi and Tadase said to him, "Oh, really? Don't you think you're a little the worse for wear at the moment?" At this Kukai stopped and backed up, seeming to realise the futility of trying to continue the fight.

"Good," Tadase said approvingly. "Kukai, go and get cleaned up. Both of you need some air, and to cool off. No more of this fighting nonsense. You are not to go near each other for the rest of the day. Am I understood?"

Both boys nodded reluctantly. After Kukai went off in the direction of the nurse's office and Nagihiko mumbled vaguely about going to the basketball courts, Tadase sighed. "Commoners will be commoners, I suppose." He turned to the small audience that still remained and told them, "Disperse!" to which they hastily dispersed.

Amu put her arm around my shoulders. "It'll be okay, Nade," she said comfortingly, and I realised that there were tears in my eyes. I quickly brushed them away. Rima, who still sat with us at the table, suddenly darted off in the direction of the library. Tadase came back to the table and began to clean up what remained of the lunches. Like Amu, he tried to reassure me; whether he actually believed that things would work out or not I don't know. But despite their convictions I couldn't shake the feeling that I had broken the special connection we had had; not just Kukai and I, but all of the ex-Guardians. It made me sick to think of what I had destroyed. I felt as if the innocent ties that bound us together so tightly were gone, and I wondered if we could ever reach that peaceful place again, the place away from hurt and anxieties – the safe place that I had always felt made our friendship stronger and more wonderful than any in the world.

* * *

**Kitase-chan: And there is chapter two. I hate the sad parts in stories T^T but things will get better, you'll see :) [but yeah, there's also going to be a whole lot more drama and everything . ]**

**So, t****hanks for reading! Please review! Even if it's to say 'update soon,' or something like that xD it still helps to know what people are thinking, so I can try a new angle or keep going with the same one, or anything ;)**


	3. Family

**Kitase-chan: Ohmigosh you guys D: I reverted to my old ways of taking forever to update! *sniffles***

**Well, finally, here is chapter three. I hope you like it. There's an amuto scene in here, sort of, so hopefully amuto fans will be pleased. Although, it's another sad chapter. x(**

**Thanks so much to the people who have reviewed, story alerted, etc... you guys really make my day :'D**

* * *

**3. _Family_**

* * *

Sheets of rain beat down against the school grounds, but inside the gym a heated game of volleyball was taking place. I stood in the front row of my teammates, closest to the right. Rima was to my left, and Amu stood across from us, on the opposing team. I served the ball and it went over the net, some of the girls in my team calling out in anticipation of what would possibly be another point for us. Misaki Watarai volleyed the ball back effortlessly, and once again it was headed towards me.

The events that came next happened in almost a second. I leapt to hit the ball and suddenly Rima was there, directly in front of me. She angled her leg out backwards and while my eyes followed it, she suddenly kicked her other foot back into my knee. It happened so fast that I had nowhere to fall except on top of her.

"What the hell are you doing?" Rima exclaimed, shoving me off her. She scrambled to a sitting position, fists clenched angrily.

The teacher was by our sides in an instant. "What happened?"

"She just jumped on me!" Rima cried. "I was only trying to hit the ball! Couldn't you stand to let me hit it even once, Nade?" As I stood she glared up at me, hurt filling her golden eyes.

"I – what – she's lying!" I exclaimed, shocked.

"Cool it, Nadeshiko," the teacher warned. He bent to help Rima up.

"But I didn't..." I protested lamely. It was no use arguing. Rima was a master of her art. I could only watch as her face flushed and her eyes overflowed with tears. Leaning heavily on another girl from our team, she slowly hopped away from us and past the court where the boys were playing – not hesitating to fix her hair first, I noticed.

"Okay, that's it for today, guys," the teacher directed. "I'm really disappointed, Nade." I bit my lip to keep it from trembling. Sensei was one of the few teachers that made an effort to be nice to the students at this school, and most certainly one of the only ones I looked up to.

Amu hurried over to me after the other girls had gone to their water bottles, or the bathroom. "Are you okay?" she said quietly. "That was really dangerous. Rima went too far." I looked up at Amu and was surprised to see that she was angry.

I shook my head. "I'm fine," I said quickly. "I wasn't hurt."

She sighed, relieved. The rain was beginning to clear up, so we walked outside. Once there, I spotted my mother's car. I waved and hurried over, Amu beside me.

"Oka-san!" I exclaimed smiling as my mother opened the door. "Why are you here?"

She smiled back, but her eyes lingered on Amu for a moment. "I finished work early, and thought I'd pick you and your brother up so you wouldn't have to walk home in this weather."

"Thanks!" I hugged Amu goodbye and slid into the car. "Oh, but Nagi isn't finished yet. He should be out in a few minutes."

"Uh-huh." My mother paused. She seemed suddenly irritated. I wondered why. "Nadeshiko," she began quietly, "What have I told you about spending time with that Amu girl?"

"Sorry?" my mind was blank for a moment. Then I frowned. "But Oka-san, she's my best friend! You used to like her!"

"That was before the vandalism incident, Nadeshiko," she said sharply.

"That wasn't her!" I protested. "And the principal didn't believe she did it, he only punished her because the other parents pressured him to. Amu isn't like that!"

Mother was adamant. "When you're older, you'll understand people better, Nadeshiko. I've made myself clear, and I'm not going to argue about this with you any further."

I opened my mouth to object again. At that moment, Nagihiko arrived. He slid into the back, still sweating, and glanced from my mother to me. He looked like he was searching for something to say, but couldn't find it, so we travelled home in silence.

**

* * *

**

It was late evening, and I sat with Nagi and Mother at the dinner table. I was going to tell her today – I had already made up my mind about that. But this afternoon's events had made me even more nervous. Comedy re-runs played on the television in a corner of the spacious room, but the volume had been turned right down. The actors' muted, hurried actions seemed to mimic the turmoil in my mind.

I feared that my racing heart would break through the silence that hung in the room as heavily as lead. I chewed on grains of rice one by one, not daring to swallow more. The possible scenarios played through my head over and over. Would my mother be angry? Disappointed? Devastated? Was it possible that she would eventually be happy, even the slightest bit? I knew that the longer I waited to tell her, the more hurt she would be.

I cleared my throat. "Oka-san... um... can we forget about this afternoon? There's something important I need to tell you."

Nagihiko glanced up at me in surprise. _Now?_ His eyes were asking. Mother looked puzzled. "Something important?" She glanced down at my barely eaten food. "Are you sick?" she asked worriedly.

"No, I'm not sick."

"Are you failing classes? Are you quitting dance?" When I shook my head at both, she looked relieved. "Well, it can't be all that important, then."

I was afraid my resolve would waver. I closed my eyes, forcing the words out. "Oka-san, this is really important."

She sighed, probably still thinking it was something minor, an annoyance to get out of the way. "Okay, I'm listening, Nadeshiko."

I took a breath and paused. "I'm pregnant."

For a moment Mother just stared at her bowl, utterly still. Then she exhaled, and her entire body seemed to fold, making her look completely exhausted. Finally she rested her head in one elegant hand, gazing at a spot on the table. "How far along are you?" she said pragmatically, probably at a loss for what else to say.

"About a month and a half," I answered quietly.

"Who is the father?"

"Ikuto Tsukiyomi."

She nodded, taking in this information. After a moment of silence she said, "Go to your room, please, Nadeshiko. I don't want to look at you right now."

I simply nodded my head and, biting back tears, hurried to my room and closed the door silently behind me. Temari flew wordlessly after me and sat on my shoulder when I couldn't hold back the tears anymore, crying along. I sat by the window and leaned my forehead on the aged, carefully crafted wood of the windowsill. My window looked out over one of the oldest and the most elegant gardens in the entire Fujisaki estate. Seated here, still in the kimono I'd practiced dance in this afternoon, I could have been hundreds of years old. Here there was no past and no future, only beauty. A beauty I'd been trapped in all my life. A beauty that would always be so far out of reach for me now.

I don't know how long I stayed like that, allowing the cool evening breeze to whisper past my ears and through my hair. But eventually I looked up when I heard a soft knock at my door. Nagihiko slid it open and entered, then slid it closed again. He came to sit by me.

"I think she took it pretty well, you know," he told me softly.

I raised my eyebrows in disbelief at this.

"I mean it, really,' he continued. "Well, she was shocked at first – anyone would be – but after you left she calmed down a bit. Obviously you're going to get one hell of a lecture, but... I think she'll adjust to the idea. Eventually."

"Isn't she..." I quietly cleared my throat. "But, isn't she disappointed? Or ashamed?"

"I think she blames herself, more than anything else."

Blamed herself? That wasn't fair. I was the one that screwed up, and made a mess of everything. I told Nagihiko so.

"I know it was through your actions, and she knows, but..." he shrugged. "She just loves you that much, Nadeshiko. She couldn't bear to stay angry at or ashamed of you for anything. That's the truth."

Rhythm, who sat on Nagi's lap, nodded. Temari flew down from my shoulder and sat next to him. She smiled up at me. Nagi reflected that smile and pulled me into a hug. The warmth of his arms and the soothing noises he made reminded me of when we were children, and I grazed a knee or broke a favourite toy. In those days each had always been there for the other; always ready to patch it up, whatever the problem. So I returned the hug, and just for a while I let myself be a little girl again – reckless sometimes, thoughtless at other times, but still loved and cared for.

**

* * *

**

[3rd._person_]

Amu dashed almost noiselessly through the dark city streets, her shoes treading through puddles and disturbing the reflections of the weakly-lit streetlights. Eventually she came to a seldom visited area of Seiyo's large park. _Seldom_ visited, but not altogether neglected. Its regular visitor was only one – and as Amu had suspected, he was here again tonight.

"Ikuto!" she called to the violinist's dark silhouette. Sensing Amu's irritation without even glancing at her, Ikuto laid his violin in its case and meandered over, until he stood close enough to catch the way the moonlight illuminated every detail of her deep scowl.

"Yo, Amu," he greeted, not bothering with the smirk that seemed to mark most of their meetings.

"What the hell were you thinking, Ikuto?"

She certainly didn't beat around the bush. "I beg your pardon?" Ikuto flicked a piece of fluff off his shirt, unfazed by Amu's cutting tone.

"Nadeshiko's _fifteen,_ Ikuto! You're nineteen! Don't you realise you could be arrested for that?"

Ikuto shrugged, apathy displayed in every line of his body. "Oh. So, you heard about that," he drawled, bored.

"Yeah, I heard about that!" Amu lowered her voice, speaking quickly and seriously. "Nadeshiko's _pregnant,_ Ikuto."

Ikuto gazed down at Amu. Did she actually think he cared? Her voice had a slight edge to it, as if she was still out of breath from coming here. Her golden eyes were wide and searching – despite being furious with him, she was still as naive as always. Her soft pink hair was pulled up in a ponytail, revealing the line of her neck more than usual. It made her look thinner. More fragile. When Ikuto was honest with himself, he didn't like upsetting her. But God, when she was like this... it was no wonder she would so easily get hurt. Ikuto glanced away and laughed harshly. "Yeah, I saw her puking on the way to school a few mornings ago. Kinda figured."

Amu actually looked surprised at this. "You... you know already...? Well, I mean, what are you going to...?"

Ikuto raised his eyebrows at her. "What am I going to _do_ about it?" This time his brusque laugh sounded out oddly into the night. Silence followed. Ikuto spoke again. "Are you still that blind? You're seriously asking me that? Why do you think I'm going to do _anything_ about it?" His final question was softer, but just as cruel. "What makes you think I care?"

Amu's face dropped to her eye level, so she was looking at his chest. She shook her head. "Don't say that. You're scared, or shocked, or you regret what you did. But I know you care."

Ikuto turned his back on her. Stupid girl. He wanted to shake some sense into her. He wanted to tell her to get as far away from him as possible, and never look back. A part of him wanted to ask her to stay, but that was the useless part. Wishing like that would never do any of them good. He shrugged. "Well, you're wrong. Guess you can't read me as well as you think. Now run back home to Daddy and Mummy and Ami-chan. Make sure you remember your milk after your shower. Calcium makes for strong bones, you know." His voice was laden with mocking.

Ikuto couldn't see Amu, but he could almost feel the sadness emanating from her. "Why are you... saying those things...?"

"You'll figure it out, Amu-chan! I believe in you!" Ikuto did a perfect imitation of Tadase's voice. After a pause, he yawned. "Seems like we're done here, so I'll be off..."

"No! Stop!" Amu reached out and grabbed the back of his shirt. She pressed her forehead against him, clenching her eyes shut. "Just stop it, Ikuto. You're not like this. I know you. You're mean when you want to be. And you make mistakes like everyone else. But you're not irresponsible. Never that."

Ikuto scoffed. "Have you ever considered that maybe you don't know me all that well?"

His question was answered only with silence.

"When are you going to realise that you don't know everything, Amu? That not everybody cares? You can go on with your schoolgirl naivety, and keep believing in your friends and in adults and in every stranger you happen to walk past, because it makes you feel just a little bit better on the inside. You can keep calling yourself an optimist and all that. But the real world isn't like that. You don't go to a job interview and get the job because you help old ladies cross the street. No one gives a damn about helping people, and people certainly don't occupy themselves with _saving_ people, because they don't believe there's any such thing. I don't give a damn about any of this, not _anything,_ Amu. And I certainly don't give a damn about Nadeshiko. I could up and leave the country right now, and you couldn't stop me. And you know what? No one would care. Wake up."

Amu shook her head again, tears beginning to fall. "When did you get like this?" she whispered brokenly.

Ikuto shrugged her off him. "It's the way I've always been."

He methodically packed up his violin and slung the case across his back. He shoved his hands in his pockets, making no move to comfort Amu. He took one last look at her, before turning away. "I'm going to find somewhere to sleep now. Don't come and bother me again, unless you have something useful to say or do." He stalked off, his darkly-clad figure soon disappearing into the wide expanse of empty, black night.

[3rd._person_. -end-]

* * *

**Kitase-chan: Well, there it is. I hope the amuto scene works as well as I wanted it to, but... things never turn out quite as well as you want them to, do they? xD**

**What did you think of chapter three? Please review and let me know? I know Rima seems uncharacteristically mean, even for her... but she has her reasons for acting the way she's acting. If all goes according to plan, she's going to show some real heart before the end :'D**

**I'll try to have chapter four up soon, and until then, thanks for reading! And also, I don't own Shugo Chara!**


	4. Responsibility and Choice

**Kitase-chan: Okayyy~ I finished this chapter. I think it's the longest so far. I won't ramble on this time; I'll just let you read it. xD**

* * *

**Responsibility _and_ Choice**

* * *

It was a chilly morning, though the rain had let up, and all I could feel was relief that the school week would be over in a matter of hours. Textbooks in my arms and head down, I walked quickly to my locker. A group of girls made comments about me as I walked past, clearly speaking to each other, but still making sure I heard. I recognised them as some of Kukai's fangirls. All they knew was that I'd hurt him in some way – I wondered dryly what they would do if they knew the whole truth.

I passed the library door and ducked inside for just a moment; immediately feeling relaxed. The library had always been my sanctuary. I saw a few like-minded students and staff wandering between the shelves or curled up in cushy chairs beside pot plants. Amidst the seeming chaos and at times raw harshness of high school, here was a quiet but true community – whether drawn here by a passion for knowledge, the desire to escape for a few hours into the dreamer's world of fiction, or simply the need to find somewhere peaceful – any who came here seeking would surely discover what it was they sought.

The woman behind the counter pushed her glasses up her nose and smiled at me warmly. She tapped her watch. "Remember to get to class on time, Nadeshiko," she said in a slightly airy, sing-song voice. She went back to sorting through the books that had been recently returned, pausing to admire each cover and, if a book's blurb caught her interest, to open it up and read a few pages.

I nodded and glanced around the library, before turning my back reluctantly. I was about to step out into the corridor again – but instead, I bumped into something tall. Or rather, some_one_ tall.

I looked up in surprise and stared blankly for a moment. I blinked. "Kukai?" I asked hesitantly, suddenly unsure of myself. In the past two weeks, I had barely seen him, let alone been close enough to talk to him. He had avoided me at all times.

Kukai looked around the library with raised eyebrows, but didn't say anything sceptical about it. He coughed once, and I realised how ill at ease he was. Eventually he said, "Why are you carrying all those? They look so heavy. Let me." He effortlessly lifted the enormous pile of textbooks from my arms. I nearly lost my balance when the heavy weight was suddenly gone. I wracked my brain for something to say but couldn't find it. It didn't matter, because Kukai spoke again. "Uh, you're going to your locker, right?"

I nodded, then realised he expected a verbal answer. "Uh – yes, right. Kukai, you don't have to..."

"I want to." Kukai turned and headed in the direction of my locker, but kept his pace slow so I could walk alongside him. We walked. It was silent for a little while – Kukai took a deep breath and looked out the window; I fiddled with the buttons on my sleeve. Finally he spoke again. "Nade..." he began.

I looked up quickly. "Yes...?" There was a pause. I was afraid he wouldn't continue. "Kukai?" I pushed.

He inspected the book on top of the pile carefully. "I'm still... really upset. I'm still angry at you." He didn't need to tell me that, I could see it as clearly as day. He continued. "But I'm not still angry... no, wait, that doesn't make sense." He shook his head. "Uh, um... what I mean is that... I don't like it. I don't like not being around you, and not speaking to you." He paused and drew a shaky breath. "You really hurt me, Nade. It used to sound stupid to me; I never thought it would feel so... so _bad._ But I think it might take me a long time to get over, and I don't want to be away from you for that long." He stopped walking and turned to face me. I realised we had arrived at my locker.

I was shocked. Nagihiko had assured me that Kukai was a good guy, and he would forgive me. But I had still denied myself the thought that Kukai and I could ever be the way we were... No. I had been right to deny that thought, because it was true that we couldn't return to how we were, not completely. Not with a baby on the way. But we had to start somewhere, right?

Kukai entered my locker combination and put the books inside. He regarded me with sad green eyes. "Can we just... start small?" he asked, almost echoing my thoughts. "I want to be around. I-I want to be around you."

I nodded wordlessly, tears beginning to fall. I half-ran, half-fell forward into his arms, and even though they weren't mine anymore, they still felt as wonderful as if they always were. "I'm so sorry, Kukai," I sobbed, not caring how we looked. Kukai squeezed me tightly, and I knew he didn't care either.

"There, now. Sshh," he whispered, cradling my head on his shoulder. From the strain in his voice it sounded as if he was close to tears, too.

I clung for a second longer, then sniffed and pushed myself off him. "I-I'm going to be – late for class," I managed, wiping my face. He nodded, realising he would be late as well.

Kukai dug in his pocket and handed me a tissue. He tentatively brushed my bangs out of my face. "See you later," he said quietly. "Love you."

I gave him one last squeeze and murmured, "Love you, too." And then I turned reluctantly and hurried to my classroom. I think he stayed there watching me for a moment before he went off to his own.

* * *

I groaned slightly and heaved what little was in my stomach into the porcelain bowl in front of me, noticing with distaste that a few strands of dark violet hair had been caught. I stayed there for a moment to catch my breath, then quickly cleaned myself up. I emerged from the bathroom and went to sit on the lounge, waiting for my mother to finish getting ready. Nagihiko was there doing homework. He glanced at my white face and cringed sympathetically. "That's rough."

"Tell me about it," I muttered, curling my legs up underneath me and sitting back with a sigh. It had been a long day at school, though I was still feeling a bit optimistic about having made up – well, sort of made up – with Kukai.

Quite out of the blue, Nagihiko banged his fist on the table. "Damn projectile motion!" he said irritably. For a second I thought he was referring to my morning sickness. Then I realised he was talking about his homework. I smirked just slightly and got up to see what the problem was. "I can do every other part – why can't I do this?" he exclaimed in frustration as he showed me the work.

I giggled and gently took the eraser from his hand, immediately spotting the mistake. "Here – you keep messing up this one little part," I showed him. "The rest is perfect. Go over the first two sample workings again and you'll get it." He looked doubtful, so I explained it quietly.

After a moment he nodded. "Oh... right. And that's... I get it now. Thanks, Nade."

Just then, my mother's voice rang out. "Nadeshiko...? Nadeshiko?" She popped her head into the room, and smiled at the sight of us working together. "Oh – there you are. Ready to go?" I nodded, and we said goodbye to Nagihiko and left. She unlocked the car doors and got into the driver's seat, and I into the passenger's.

As we drove, she seemed to sense I was anxious. I was going to a doctor's appointment – I knew it was necessary, but I really had no idea what would happen once I was there. Truth be told, I was nervous. She spoke to me as she drove. "Try to relax a bit, darling. You're younger than most in this situation, but I can assure you that at the start every woman experiences the things you're going through now –"

"Oka-san!" I grimaced, and she laughed. I really, truly and strongly hoped that she wasn't going to give me one of the embarrassing talks. If that happened right now, I just couldn't handle it. I'd die.

She continued to chuckle at my expression, so I decided to perform a bit and hopefully gain her sympathy. I placed my hands dramatically over my face, leaning back into the seat in a state of deep melancholy.

This only amused her further, but it seemed that she decided to take pity on me, because she didn't make any awkward comments after that. In honesty, I was still shocked at how my mother had been taking this so far. Yes, it had been strained lately, and Nagihiko had been right – she _had_ given me one hell of a lecture – but I wasn't living on the street, which was good.

Eventually, we arrived at the doctor's surgery. I checked in, and when my name was called, my mother prepared to come with me. I shook my head. "Oka-san... I want to go in by myself for the moment. I'll ask you to come when I need you. Is that okay?"

She gave me a questioning look. "Are you sure, sweetie?"

I nodded, and hugged her quickly. "I'll be okay," I promised. She squeezed my arm reassuringly, and I turned towards the doctor's office. I held the knob firmly and, pushing the door open, I stepped inside.

* * *

[3rd._person_]

Amu hugged her jacket tightly around her as she walked quickly through the park. Ikuto had told her to stay away from him, but she didn't care. She would see him tonight, whether he liked it or not. Her stubborn mood was echoed in her footsteps, and she rolled her eyes in spite of herself. Finally, she came to the place where he usually played.

Ikuto was there, his dark clothes even darker in the night, but his deep blue hair somehow illuminated. He hadn't started playing yet. He sat before his violin case, rubbing resin on the bow and carefully tuning each string.

Amu gazed at Ikuto from across the pavement. She reflected, not for the first time, on the immense difference between Ikuto and his sister. Utau sang songs to make the people around her _feel_ – to make them feel happy, or hopeful, or passionate – to make them feel along with her. Ikuto never cared whether he had an audience or not. He simply played. That struck Amu as beautiful and lonely at the same time.

Slowly, she walked past the puddles on the cement – rendered almost ephemeral in the soft moonlight – and crouched beside him. She didn't need to announce her presence; he knew it was her. She simply sat and watched as he carefully checked the tautness of the fine horse hair on the bow, and wrapped the resin back in its cloth. Amu rarely stopped to admire what a delicate instrument the violin was. It appeared almost like a small guitar or a ukulele, but really, it was so very different. It was so fragile. When Ikuto handled the violin, he took great care not to get his fingers all over it. He had explained to her once that it was because the oils in human skin could ruin the finishing on the fine wood.

"Ikuto," she whispered softly, and he looked up at her. She was surprised by the hostile glare in his eyes. He was telling her to go, but almost, he was daring her to stay.

After a moment the glare disappeared, and was replaced by cool condescension. "Amu," he stated flatly. He returned to tuning the violin.

"Ikuto..." she began. She hesitated. A part of her hated Ikuto for the way he was acting now. But another part of her couldn't hate him, ever. "Ikuto," she said a little more firmly, but still softly. "I just... I just want to tell you that I don't want to judge you. Even if I disagree with what you're doing at the moment. Everyone... everyone always judges you. And that's partly your fault, you know. They try to help you, to understand you, and you never explain. But you don't have to explain to me." She reached over and picked up his violin, gently, like he had shown her. "I'm just here. So deal with it."

She watched him with wide, searching golden eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, and closed it again. His shoulders tense and Amu reflexively took in a breath, ready to listen. Ikuto placed the violin and bow back in the case. He sighed and tucked his hands beneath his knees, and stared away, across the park – seeing what, Amu didn't know.

"Amu..." Ikuto started. She said nothing, waiting for him to continue. Eventually he did. "Did Utau... talk to you much, before she went on tour?"

Amu shook her head, confused. Utau was currently touring in America to promote her new album. But Amu couldn't see how that was related to any of this. Or what it had to do with Ikuto's behaviour.

"Oh." He clenched his hands slightly. His voice was quiet – Amu had to strain to listen. "A couple of months ago, we found out..." he broke off and shook his head, dragging one hand through his hair.

"Found out what?" Amu encouraged softly.

"We found out about my father." Ikuto paused. When he spoke again, his voice was barely audible. "He passed away." Ikuto punched his fist into the dirt and leaned forward, until his forehead rested on the back of his hand. His shoulders shook just slightly.

Amu was speechless. Everything he had said to her when they'd last met... everything suddenly made sense. She closed her eyes, biting back the choking sensation in her throat when she thought of what Ikuto must have been going through for months, and she hadn't even known. Amu thought of herself as intuitive, and yet she hadn't noticed this.

"Ikuto," Amu started, anxious when his shoulders began to shake more violently, "It's perfectly understandable that you would be upset –"

"I'm not upset!" Ikuto said angrily, sitting up and turning around to glare at her. "I hated that guy," he said vehemently. "I _hated_ him. He just up and left his family without a single word of explanation, he left us to face Easter on our own. He didn't give a damn about us. I don't give a damn about him." He realised there were tears streaming from his eyes, and furiously brushed them away. "I don't _care_. About anything." He turned away from Amu and whispered bitterly, "He deserved what he got."

There was silence except for Ikuto's ragged breathing. Tentatively Amu reached out and touched him on the shoulder, then very slowly wrapped her arms around him. "I know," she whispered. "It hurts, when it shouldn't. You love him, when he never gave you anything to love." She gently rested her head against him. Ikuto didn't return the hug, but he shifted slightly, making it more comfortable for her. The moon began to climb in the black, cloudless sky, and the night seemed to spread endlessly in all directions. They stayed like that for minutes; Ikuto crying freely and Amu making gentle shushing sounds.

Ikuto eventually spoke. "When Utau told me, I... I was so angry. At her. For telling me," he said shakily. "Only for a second or two, but... it's stupid, right?" He wiped his eyes on his sleeve. "And then she went overseas and... and – everyone was just – gone..."

Amu squeezed him tightly. "I'm here," she promised quietly. "Always here. It doesn't matter where I am, or where you are. You and I..." she searched for the words. "We don't have to be around each other. Or see each other. We just know." Amu realised that she meant it.

Ikuto wiped his eyes once more, and flicked at a rock with his fingers. Amu was silent. She drew in the dirt with her own finger, then smoothed it over.

"I... I was frightened," Ikuto said finally, and Amu knew he wasn't speaking about his father or sister this time. "I would only screw them up sooner or later. It'd be better if they hated me to begin with. Better they never knew I wanted to try." He shivered, and closed his eyes in self-hatred. "I only hurt people. A baby would be no different."

"It could be different," Amu said softly. "Everyone hurts others. It's impossible to avoid." She lifted both his hands and rubbed them to chase away the cold. "But you won't know unless you give yourself a chance." She regarded him, and her golden eyes grew a little firmer. "Nadeshiko's having the baby, Ikuto. Knowing her, she'll probably want to raise it, too. Think about that." She paused. "If you deny the responsibility, that doesn't mean it will just go away."

Ikuto nodded. Pain was visible in his deep blue eyes, but resolve shone through underneath it. "I – yeah. I'm going to try. I _want_ to try. I'll talk to Nadeshiko." He laughed once, mirthlessly. "I don't know what the hell I'm doing. But I do want to do right by someone, for once." He stared off into space, deep in thought.

Amu hugged him again. They sat in silence for a while. Eventually Amu asked, "Are you still going to play tonight?"

Ikuto shrugged.

"Teach me some?" she pursued.

Ikuto looked down at her, offended at the very idea. "Your hands are filthy!"

"So are yours!"

"Wash your hands." Ikuto stood and washed his hands at a nearby tap, and Amu did the same. After much persuasion on Amu's part, he finally agreed to teach her a few notes. She stood with the violin balanced precariously on her shoulder, arm bent awkwardly around it.

"Why is it so hard to hold?" she complained, as the strings groaned in protest at this rough new handler.

"Just – shit, don't drop it!" he exclaimed as Amu very nearly did so. "Stand straighter. Adjust the angle – that's right. Change your hand position a bit – there. You're doing it."

Amu giggled. "I'm never going to get this."

"You will. Now – here." He gently took her other hand and closed her fingers around the bow. She lifted her hand from his, and dragged the bow across the strings.

Ikuto winced at the awful screeching sound. "Ugh. Do it softly, it's not a goddamn horror movie."

They stayed like that for what could have been hours; Ikuto carefully instructing Amu on how to move the bow, and where to place her fingers, and so on. Finally, Amu had to leave. She handed the violin back to him, feeling worn out. "I have to get home, or my parents will be worried."

He nodded, putting the violin away. "Sleep tight, Amu." The slightest hint of a smirk played across his face, though it was half-hearted, and his eyes were strained.

"Take care of yourself," she said softly. "When are you going to see Nadeshiko?"

"As soon as I can. First thing tomorrow, if possible." Ikuto looked like he meant it.

Amu nodded. "Good." She gave him one final hug. "I'm holding you to that. And next time you're having issues, just _talk_ to me, for goodness' sake." She turned to go. "Night, Ikuto."

"Night."

Amu smiled briefly and left, shoes squelching in the damp grass as she hurried home.

[3rd._person_. -end-]

* * *

**Kitase-chan: There it is. What did you think? Kukai and Nade made up~ Hehe, I always imagine Kukai as being really sweet. xD**

**And poor Ikuto, I know. DDDx **

**Hopefully he'll step up and be a good dad-to-be from now on. Egegh, I'm really not in the mood to ramble tonight, so I'll just say, thanks for reading, and please review!**


	5. First Steps

**Kitase-chan: Guys, I'm so sorry for the long time no update. Dx**

**I actually meant to finish this chapter off a while ago, but didn't get around to it, and then school assessments piled up and... it just didn't happen. But I'm on holidays now, so hopefully I'll be updating everything much more often!**

**Temari: Ahem! Also, this chapter is special.**

**Kitase-chan: Oh, right! :D This is the first of my fanfictions to reach a chapter five! Anyway, I'll stop rambling and let you guys read it. ^^**

* * *

**First **_**Steps**_

* * *

I hugged my jacket tighter around me, eyes searching for my mother's car. The weather had only seemed to worsen recently, though in honesty, I didn't mind the rain. I just disliked being caught out in it. I had just left an appointment with the Fujisaki family's doctor, my third appointment this week. The sleek silver car was nowhere in sight.

But a minute later, a midnight blue car that I didn't recognise pulled up to the curb in front of me. The driver leaned over and the door swung open. I peered inside, and gaped. "Ikuto?"

I didn't bother with an honorific. I figured that once one had known someone as intimately as we had known each other that night, honorifics weren't really an issue. He looked exasperated. "Are you going to get into the car, or stand there getting wet until your head sprouts beans?"

I slid into the car and closed the door. I stared at him questioningly.

He looked extremely uneasy. "Sorry I'm late," he offered eventually. This only increased my confusion. He rubbed the back of his head, searching for the words to explain himself. "Nadeshiko, I..."

"...Yes?"

"I spoke to your mother. And... I'm going to do these things from now on. These fath –... picking you up from appointments, and things. If you'll let me, that is."

I was silent. Ikuto grew more uncomfortable by the second. "I mean, Amu and your mother told me you're having the baby, and... I want to be a part of it. Please?" his piercing blue eyes were open, earnest. Afraid, yes. But sincere.

I was shocked. Ikuto and I were friends, but... I hadn't really been counting on him at all. _Could_ I count on him? He had never struck me as the dependable type. "Ikuto..."

In his apprehension, I saw my own. I suddenly remembered with startling vividness the night we had shared – when for one night we had been warm despite the cold, and his body had seemed like the entire world. I realised that this was another thing we shared, whether for better or worse. I shook my head. "Sorry, I just... I wasn't expecting that. Ikuto, I'm happy." I paused a moment, and realised it was true. I would never say it to Ikuto, but the single most overwhelming thought in my mind right now was that I wasn't alone. There was another person in this, and maybe we'd figure it out. "Of course," I said quietly. "Of course I want you to be involved."

He exhaled, and I realised that he had been holding his breath. He smiled, albeit raggedly. "Oh. Uh... that's good, then." He put the key in the ignition, glad to focus on the much easier task of driving. "Let's get you home."

_He's such an awkward person,_ I reflected, closing my eyes and sitting back in the seat. I shivered, and in response he turned the heater up. The rain spattering on the car roof made a cosy sound, and the grey sky and road began to blur. I found myself being lulled to sleep.

* * *

"Nadeshiko. Nadeshiko." Someone's voice – _Amu's_ voice – was in my ear. She poked me. She poked me again. "Nadeshiko."

"Mm..." I sleepily swatted her hand away and opened one eye. From my vantage point with my head nestled in my arms on the tabletop, her face looked abnormally large. "Amu?"

She smiled regretfully. "I'm sorry to wake you. But your grades are dropping. You should try to get some schoolwork done."

It was true. I yawned and sat up, rubbing my eyes blearily. It was the weekend, but as exams were approaching, many students from both the high and middle school were studying at the local library. Our group was no exception – well, the part about us studying might have been. Currently, Yaya seemed intent on getting a tattoo, and Tadase was trying to talk her out of it.

She waved her arms and legs around emphatically, bouncing on her chair. "But _Yaya wants a tattoo!"_ She placed a piece of paper on the table, gesturing for us all to look. "See? This is the tattoo that Yaya's getting on her arm. Yaya drew it herself," she added proudly.

"Is that a cauliflower?" Kukai asked.

"It's a _pony_ sleeping on a _cloud!"_ Yaya huffed and snatched the drawing away.

Tadase looked very concerned. "That's a lovely picture, Yaya-chan, but, are you sure about this? Just think carefully. Do you really want to have it on your body for the rest of your life?" Yaya seemed to realise he was speaking sense, because her expression grew even more determined. "Anyway," Tadase added, "You're fourteen. No-one's going to give you a tattoo so young –"

"It's fine, it's fine!" Yaya assured, "I know this tattoo artist who doesn't ask for ID or anything if you pay him extra money!"

At this Tadase's expression changed from one of mild worry to serious alarm. "Well you _certainly_ shouldn't be getting a tattoo from a guy as dodgy as that."

Yaya pouted. Kukai pitched in, trying a different angle. "Well, why do you want a tattoo on your _arm_, specifically?" After hearing the kind of guy she intended to get a tattoo from, he and the others seemed to have agreed that dissuading her was the best thing to do, too. Though I wasn't sure Kukai's tactic was a brilliant one.

Yaya grinned. "Well, Yaya's getting a tattoo in another place, too," she announced cheerfully, "But only Kairi is going to get to see _that."_

Kairi choked on his smoothie and spurted it everywhere, his face suddenly a burning red. Kukai laughed loudly and clapped him on the back as he coughed and spluttered, gasping for air. Eventually he recovered and pushed his glasses up his nose. "Y-Yaya," he said shakily, "I must say that, due to my analysis of you as a habitually whimsy and impulsive decision-maker, and of this tattoo artist as an irresponsible businessman with questionable practices, I would recommend at least two months careful thought on this. It is of course your decision, but, that's my assessment. Just so you can hear all sides and make a well-informed choice." His voice diminished in volume and his nose got closer and closer to his book as he spoke, until he was hunched over his work so intently that we could barely see his still blushing cheeks.

Yaya listened. To our shock, she shrugged. She seemed entirely satisfied. "Okay, if you guys think so. I didn't really want a tattoo anyway. It doesn't suit a baby character." She hummed lightly and hopped up off her chair. "Who wants lemonade? Amu-chii?"

Amu shook her head, as mystified as the rest of us.

"Fine. Nade can come with me, then." Before I could protest, Yaya reached down and tugged me out of my seat.

"Wait – Yaya!" I exclaimed as she yanked me along. We ran through the study area and almost bowled down a librarian, who narrowed her eyes in irritation at us. Yaya didn't slow down until we reached the vending machine downstairs.

I caught my breath. "Yaya, _really_..." I berated as she put coins in the machine. "I wish you'd be a little more careful..."

"It's okay, it's okay," she said dismissively as she turned and held out a bottle of iced tea for me to take. "Nade shouldn't be anxious so much." When I reached out to take the bottle, she snatched it away.

"...Yaya?"

"Nade can't have it until she feels better. Nade has to laugh."

I sweatdropped, but laughed. "Ha ha."

Yaya frowned. "That's not good enough! Spin around in a circle."

"There are people watching –"

"Spin!"

Feeling like an idiot, I spun. "...Okay?"

"You're so graceful, Nade. But now you have to sing. Hmm... Nade shall sing the jingle from the new car-wash ad."

I knew the advertisement she was talking about, but... "Do I have to?"

"Yes! Yaya will sing too. Come on. Sparkle – twinkle – wash away!" Yaya's voice was far from quiet. People began to stare.

Grimacing, I joined in. "The super scrub car-wash is here to stay..."

Yaya grinned approvingly. "Louder, Nade! With girls in their swimmers –"

"And new paint that shimmers –" I raised my voice to join hers.

"Drive!" Yaya spun around in a little dance.

"Drive –" I flourished my arms.

"Drive our way!" We finished in unison, and broke into laughter. I felt ridiculous, and people were looking at us like we were insane. The librarian behind the borrowing desk scowled and shushed us. But aside from feeling silly, I also felt great. Relaxed. Still giggling, I wriggled my shoulders up and down, only now realising how much tension had been there.

Yaya guffawed. "Okay – you can have it now," she told me, wiping away a tear. She handed me the bottle. "I think you earned it."

I grinned and took it. "Thanks."

Yaya also got her lemonade, and then we supposed it was time to go back and study. Refreshed and energised, I followed Yaya and we walked companionably up the stairs.

We wandered back into the large study area, and I sobered when we walked past Rima's table. Rima was sitting with another group of girls. I recognised one girl from my class and a few from Kukai's class. But judging by the expression on Rima's face, she could hardly tolerate being around them. Picking up on some threads of conversation, I realised why – they were avidly discussing a comedy act that Rima found dry and amateurish.

Rima suddenly looked up at me and Yaya, and for a second I thought she might join us. But instead she smirked. "Studying, skank?"

"Rima-chan..." Her friends glanced at me and went back to their conversation, deciding I wasn't worth the interest.

"Or should I say _trying_ to? Can't concentrate, Nade? Feeling tired? Gee, I wonder why." Her voice was so laden with malice that it almost sounded gleeful.

Yaya's eyes were wide as she looked from me to Rima. Her lip trembled sadly. "Hey, Rima, don't be mean to Nade," she tried in a small voice. "E... everyone should just get along, okay?" She seemed to realise the hopelessness of that statement.

Rima's eyes flashed towards Yaya. "Just shut up, Yaya," she sneered. "Stupid little kid."

I frowned. "Rima-chan, I don't know what your problem is with me, but you don't need to speak that way to Yaya. Really, if I've offended you in some way I'd be happy to talk about it. But you won't even –"

She held up her hand, signalling the end of the conversation.

I bit back tears and left, heading back to our own table. Rima tucked her hair nonchalantly over her shoulder. Yaya hesitated, and ran after me. We sat back down. Yaya's shoulders slumped slightly.

Amu looked up. "Did something happen?"

I shook my head quietly. After a moment, I took out my pen and opened my books of schoolwork, focusing on things I could actually make sense of.

* * *

After I got into the rhythm of studying, I made up my mind to do as much work as possible today and hopefully make up a for lot of the areas I had fallen behind in. It grew into late afternoon, and then evening. One by one my friends got up and left. By the time Tadase headed off it was nearly closing hours. I finished off the maths unit I was working on and sighed, stretching. I sat back, feeling satisfied with today's effort.

I stood and collected my books just as a voice came over the loudspeaker, announcing the library would close promptly. I packed my things away in my bag and checked out two textbooks. Then I went downstairs.

I was about to enter the lobby on the ground floor, but stopped in surprise when I heard voices. Two people were already there. I realised it was Rima and Nagihiko.

Their voices were too low for me to hear what they were saying, but from their articulations it was clear they were having an argument. I wasn't sure what to do. Safely hiding behind a photocopier, I peeked out and watched.

I had seen Nagihiko and Rima argue many times before, of course, but this looked worse. Rima was crying, for one thing. Her curly hair bounced as she raised her head and glared furiously up at Nagihiko. She spoke sharply, not pausing even though tears were streaming down her face and she kept dashing them away with tightly balled fists. Nagihiko's face was pale and very still, but his amber eyes were filled with pain. He choked something out, whether an excuse, an insult, or something else, I wasn't close enough to tell. But it only seemed to upset Rima more, because she sobbed and turned her back on him, crossing her arms. He sighed exasperatedly and reached out to her shoulder, and she flinched away at his touch.

"Rima-chan..." I had heard Nagihiko say her name enough times in the past to be able to lip read it. Rima spun around and gazed up at him. I vaguely remembered Nagihiko telling me that Rima had an innate ability to make him laugh or break his heart with a single look. I wondered what look she was giving him now.

Rima turned on her heel and ran. She slung her book bag over her shoulder and ran outside. Her small form quickly disappeared in the parking lot, lost amidst the dull metallic hues of the cars settled under a blanket of countless drizzly afternoons. Nagihiko seemed almost unaware of himself as he sank to his knees.

I hesitantly crept forward.

"...Nagihiko?" I wasn't sure if I should have interrupted something so private. But my brother looked almost lifeless, staring off into the distance. So I scurried out from my vantage point and went to kneel beside him. "Nagi? Are you okay?"

"Oh..." Nagihiko looked up, shakily wiping away a tear that had escaped. "Oh, Nade," he said hurriedly. "I-I didn't realise you were there..." He blinked several times, trying to muster a sheepish smile.

I wordlessly wrapped my arms around him. He shivered and slowly collected himself. He made some sounds that could have been broken sobs, but they were so well concealed that anyone other than me would not have been able to tell.

After a while, we stood.

I put on my jacket before we left the library and began to walk home. It was chilly out, and we walked in silence.

Nagihiko and I came in sight of the forest bordering our suburb before he spoke. "Nadeshiko?"

"Hmm?" I reflexively moved closer, listening.

"The way Rima has been treating you lately... please don't judge her too harshly for it." He sighed heavily. "It isn't that she wants to hurt you, specifically. She's upset with me, and taking it out on you. Because we're alike, or because she sees you as an easier target..." Nagihiko trailed off.

"Upset with you?" I questioned softly.

Nagihiko nodded. "Rima and I... we're not okay." He sighed again. "We've been fighting more than usual lately, but it's worse than that. I love her. I really do. But no matter how hard I try to make things work between us, I feel like we're coming apart at the seams." He gestured to show his sense of helplessness. "Anyway, Nade... regardless of that, the way she's acting towards you is inexcusable. I'll talk to her. I tried to do that today, but..." He shrugged.

I squeezed his shoulder. "I'm sure you two will figure it out," I encouraged.

"I hope so. But I don't think we will. I can't shake the feeling that we're ending." Nagi's voice trembled. "I'm scared, Nade. I know that sounds stupid. And I know you and the others have every reason to hate Rima-chan by now, but she isn't... she's not..." he broke off into a muffled sob, and pressed his hands against his eyes until the tears went away.

I rubbed his back. "I know," I said soothingly. I knew how important Rima was to Nagihiko. And of course I knew all the things Rima wasn't. She wasn't easy to get to know, and at times she wasn't easy to get along with. But she wasn't heartless, and she wasn't uncaring, and she wasn't a bad person.

We walked the rest of the way home in a contemplative quiet. I listened to the tumbling stream and melancholic swishing of the reed bushes in the wind, and found my thoughts wandering. We walked up the stone steps and in through the front door. I made for the kitchen, intent on finding something to eat. Nagihiko turned and padded softly down the hallway. Before he disappeared into his room I saw him open his phone, stare at it for ten seconds, and close it again.

* * *

**Kitase-chan: Sad ending to the chapter. :'( Again. Although, I did love writing the Yaya moment. Friends are great, aren't they? xD**

**Anyway, guess what? Next chapter is going to be happy. I'm really excited about the next chapter. But i****n the mean time, what did you think of this one? Leave a review and let me know?**

**Temari: She doesn't own Shugo Chara!**

**Kitase-chan: *Nodsnods* I don't. Also, thanks for reading! ^^**


	6. Your Best Moments

**Kitase-chan: Gomenasai, guys! I've had terrible on-and-off writer's block. But, from now on I'm going to make an effort to update once a week. XD I promise.**

**Anyway~ That brings me to this chapter. It didn't turn out quite as well as I had hoped, but I didn't want to dwell on it anymore. Here it is.~**

* * *

**Your _Best_ Moments**

* * *

_Three months._

_Already, three whole months._

Exams had come and gone. The days were getting chillier as winter crept over Seiyo, and this morning I kept a heavy blanket firmly around my shoulders as I padded down the halls. I went silently – my mother and brother would still be asleep. I settled down at the kitchen table and took out a box of cereal; too ravenous to bother cooking anything. If I felt ill later, well, I'd deal with that then. Right now, I wanted to _eat._

Minutes later, I had wolfed down my breakfast and was fiddling with the television antenna. I stopped when I heard a knock at the door.

"Hello?" I called out, going to answer it. It was probably a package for my mother.

I opened the door. "Tadase-kun?" The blonde was waiting patiently on the doorstep, clearly awake and about. He was an even earlier riser than I was. He smiled at me. "Are you here to see Nagihiko? He's still sleeping but I can wake him if it's important –"

"No, that's not necessary," he chuckled as he took my wrist, pulling me out onto the doorstep with uncharacteristic force. He laughed at my shocked expression. "We're here to see you. Hurry up, Yaya-chan's waiting in the driveway."

There was something incredibly wrong with that statement. In my fuddled morning state, it took me a moment to work out what it was.

"_Yaya_ is waiting in the _driveway?_" I asked in disbelief as he tugged me along towards said driveway. "As in, Yaya's _alone_ in a _car?_"

He shook his head. "Not a car. A golf buggy. None of us are old enough to drive a car."

"And you're old enough to drive a golf buggy?" It was difficult to keep the skepticism from my voice.

"Over short distances, yes. And the rules are actually a little sketchy about the definition of a 'short distance.' So it's fine."

I made a mental note to not let Tadase spend so much time around Yaya in the future. "Tadase, one more question..."

"Yes?" His expression was perfectly innocent as we came closer to the driveway. Hedges were preventing me from seeing it with my own eyes, thus far.

"How in the world did you _get_ a golf buggy?"

"Oh." He hesitated. "We, um, borrowed it."

I gawked. "You _stole_ a _golf buggy?"_

"Borrowed. Don't worry; our actions up to this point have been perfectly legal in any court of law."

I sighed in defeat. If it was _Tadase_ doing something like this, then there had to be some kind of loophole. And if I was honest, he probably knew every loophole in the book.

We finally came in sight of the driveway. Yaya was there, sitting in the buggy with a bored expression. Her face lit up when she saw me. "Na_deeee!_" She beeped the horn loudly, as if I hadn't already been alerted to her presence by the shriek.

I sweatdropped as I clambered into the buggy. Tadase sat in the driver's seat. "Morning, Yaya."

She grinned widely. "Morning! Yaya feels like she hasn't seen Nade in so long. Yaya wishes she was in high school with you guys." She pouted and threw her arms around me.

It was true that Yaya didn't get to spend as much time with those of us in high school as we spent with each other, and I felt bad for a moment. Yaya didn't enjoy middle school as much as she had enjoyed elementary school, and it was partly because her character was less accepted there.

I smiled at her. "Well, it looks like we're going out today, so I guess we'll be making up for it. Where are we going, exactly?"

Yaya beamed. "The beach!" she chirped enthusiastically.

I looked at Tadase for confirmation. "The beach? In this?" I gestured at our vehicle.

Tadase turned on the ignition and the engine chugged in confirmation. "Yes, there's a carnival on – oh, put on your seatbelts. And the carnival is closing in a few days."

We drove out onto the street, and then we were on our way. The day was slowly starting to warm up a bit, but it was still chilly. I was glad I had dressed before breakfast. I realised I had unintentionally brought the blanket with me. Yaya noticed at the same time that I did. "Oh, you came prepared, Nade? So did we." She gestured to a picnic basket. "Yaya brought a tea cosy, and Tadase brought tea. Want some?"

I laughed and nodded. As Yaya poured some tea out into a plastic mug for me, I asked, "Why?"

"Why what?" Tadase tilted his head curiously as he drove. He was a remarkably good driver, considering he didn't have a license.

"Well... why did you guys do all this? It's so... out of the blue. I appreciate it, but... I'm just wondering."

Yaya handed me the mug. "Why wouldn't we?"

Tadase nodded, glancing at me. "You've been under a lot of stress lately. We just thought you needed something like this."

"Nade needs to relax and let loose!" Yaya added.

_That's why...? _I sat back, suddenly feeling heartened. "You guys..." I held the mug to my mouth to hide the emotion that suddenly swelled and threatened to spill. "You didn't have to..." My voice came out as barely a whisper. Embarrassed, I looked down.

Yaya laughed loudly, and Tadase chuckled. "Nade's so sensitive," Yaya exclaimed. She hugged me again, letting out an exaggerated sigh.

* * *

We arrived at the beach, pulling up alongside the cars in our golf buggy. We shuffled out of the buggy. I stretched, and then looked around. The weather was cold, but a few stubborn crowds still milled about, determined to make the most of the short time that was left before winter would set in entirely. They flocked to the carnival, and we followed them. Yaya and Tadase insisted on paying for my entrance, and then we were wandering past the rides and sideshows, and deciding what to do first.

"Rollercoaster!" Yaya piped. She pointed towards a towering rollercoaster with too many loops to count.

"...Must we?" I couldn't help grimacing at the thought of riding it.

Yaya was already gazing at another ride. Her eyes lit up in glee. "Carousel!"

Tadase laughed. I sweatdropped. Glancing at us for permission, she raced off to join the line of children waiting to ride the carousel. "Meet us in the mirror hall!" Tadase called after her, and she called back a hasty _'Haii!'_ before she forgot us completely.

"Some things really don't change, huh?" I reflected as Tadase quelled his laughter. We meandered in the direction of the mirror hall, which had been an old favourite of Tadase's, even when we were small. At the entrance, I stopped and beheld myself in various figure-distorting mirrors. I frowned at several mirrors that made me appear rounded, giggled at a pear-shaped one, and finally settled on studying a mirror that swelled my head to an impossible size. Tadase almost immediately found a mirror that gave him enormous biceps, and I heard Kiseki muttering approvingly. Temari had gone with Pepe to the carousel.

"Waah!"

I looked around and saw that Yaya had caught up with us. She had been frightened by a mirror that distorted her eyes, so that they were huge. It looked like an alien was staring back at her through the glass. I laughed. "Yaya, it's your reflection..." I sighed, pulling the girl away from the mirror. We went through the entrance, and soon we were wandering through the enormous, winding tent hall.

She pouted. "Yaya knew that."

I stopped walking, and Yaya bumped into me.

"Nade?"

I yawned. "I'm just a bit tired," I said dismissively. I suddenly felt like I could sleep for a year. Or several. It didn't last long, though, because Yaya gasped. "What is it?"

"Where's Tadase?"

* * *

We were well inside the hall of mirrors now, and I realised Yaya was right – I couldn't see Tadase anywhere. We wandered past the reflective glass panels of various shapes and heights, looking for him. "Tadase-kun...?"

"Ta-Da-_SE?"_ Yaya shrieked, almost splitting my eardrums.

I sweatdropped. "Calm down, Yaya, he must be here somewhere." I very vaguely remembered the last time Tadase had gotten lost – it had taken nearly two days to find him. But that was when we were six, and in a dark forest miles from any town.

Yaya clung to my jacket as we explored, and almost jumped out of her skin when we entered a round chamber and there were suddenly hundreds of us. I calmly led the way through another tunnel, and suddenly spied where our elusive friend had gone to. I giggled. "There."

Yaya followed my gaze. Underneath a high window, a mirror had been moved out of the way, and a tunnel leading to the outside had been revealed. We ducked past the metal poles and mesh hung with canvas sheets, and found Tadase in the process of climbing over a brick wall.

"Kiseki, get back here!" he hissed under his breath.

I almost laughed out loud. The disobedient chara was completely ignoring him. Kiseki was flying towards a miniature castle in a courtyard on the other side of the wall. "This will be very suitable!" he called brashly. "It is a most wonderful castle!"

"It's a most-wonderful privately owned miniature golf course! Now come _back here!_" Tadase almost fell, but regained his footing and clambered down on the other side of the wall. Yaya and I shrugged, and followed.

"Sacrilege!" Kiseki scolded. "Lack of faith in your King, and treason!"

"Oh, would you _shut up."_

Kiseki had flown to the top of the castle, which stood at least good ten feet high. By the time Yaya and I reached the painted moat, Tadase was on the second landing, trying to grasp at Kiseki. Kiseki perched on the tower and crossed one leg over the other. Pepe and Temari were both too busy giggling at him to really be of any help.

"Uh... King Kiseki?" I tried. "If you're all the way up there, how will you rule over your subjects? I'm sure they would respond better to close proximity, and serve you more accordingly if you flew down here?"

Tadase gave me a thankful glance. "Yes, what Nadeshiko-chan said."

Kiseki shook his head. "Just what a commoner would think! But you see, the lower the angle you view me from, the more you are awe-inspired by my regal presence."

I sweatdropped. We were anything but awe-inspired. Tadase sighed and climbed higher up the model castle, and I was surprised that it was able to hold his weight this well. Kiseki hummed and muttered, clearly not thrown off at all by his human's approach. But then, Tadase cried out in alarm as the castle swayed and the turret he stood on broke apart from the rest of the model. It gave a hideous groan, and I was amazed it didn't immediately come crashing down. Still, he could have fallen at any second.

"Kiseki, character change," Tadase commanded, and I realised what he was getting at. He needed to be character-changed to use Holy Crown.

"No."

"Kiseki!"

"A poor king uses sneaky wiles to catch a great king off-guard. No."

The turret shuddered and moved down a few more inches. "I'm going to fall!"

I sighed and carefully climbed up onto the first landing. "Wait, I'll take your hand," I told Tadase. I reached to second landing.

"It's not safe for you."

I shook my head. "It's alright. I'm being careful." I was nearly in a position where I could pull Tadase to safety, and probably get my hands on Kiseki, too.

Yaya suddenly gasped. "Hey, no fair! Yaya wants to play, too!"

"Yaya, no –" Tadase and I both said in unison, but it was no use. She jumped up onto the first landing and the entire castle tipped and swayed.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Kiseki huffed angrily at the disturbance. "Don't you know –"

"Kyaa! This game is scary!" Yaya shrieked as the castle tipped further. It was going to fall. Kiseki hollered in fright and Tadase took his lost focus as an opportunity,

"**Holy Crown!"**

We landed safely in the jelly-like orange mass. The model castle was not so lucky – in fact, it was completely wrecked. Just as I was about to let out a sigh of relief, I heard a sound that had my heart racing all over again.

"Oi, what are you kids doing over there?"

* * *

Yaya was the first to understand the situation, probably out of having been in many such situations before. "_Run!_" she yelled at the top of her lungs, and then we were running.

The man who owned the miniature golf course – which was, apparently, in his backyard – had heard the conundrum and come to see what was causing it. He chased after us, belly and t-shirt flopping everywhere, as he waved an enormous dog bone. "Go back to yer fair and don't bother me! Vandals!"

"Sorry!" I called back as I ran, but Yaya shook her head forbiddingly.

"Don't engage," she hissed. Tadase gave her a leg up and she scurried over a meshed fence, and then it was my turn.

"My _mini-golf castle_!" The man lamented loudly. I strongly doubted that he played any kind of golf, but I really did feel bad. I climbed over the wall. Tadase followed just behind me.

"I'm so sorry!" I called again, and my only response was the dog bone hurled at the fence, hitting it just in front of my face.

Yaya grabbed both my wrist and Tadase's, and we kept running until we were well out of sight of the eccentric man and his strange mini-golf domain.

I realised we were at the beach. The grass beneath my feet changed to sand, and the waves sparkled, suddenly breathtakingly close.

Yaya collapsed into the sand, laughing. "Wow," she exclaimed joyfully, stretching out her arms and legs. "Yaya hasn't been chased like that in _months!_"

Tadase sank to his knees beside her, looking an odd mixture of exhilarated and totally exhausted. "Never," he muttered, lying back in the sand and placing an arm over his eyes, "_never_ again."

I laughed and sat down cross-legged next to them. "And if Kiseki has other ideas?"

"I don't care."

"Yaya doesn't care, either."

I giggled, and then yawned. The day had actually warmed a little, and after our recent exertion it almost felt balmy. I stretched out in the sand, moving my ponytail out of the way as I lay my head back. The sun on my face was warm – not summery, but warm nevertheless. Lapping waves, seagull calls and my friends' chatter all mingled together in a comforting ambience. I closed my eyes, and beside the lull of the ocean I found myself drifting off to sleep.

* * *

"Oi. Na_de._"

Something was touching my face.

"Yaya-chan, don't put a fish on her face."

_A fish on my face?_

I opened my eyes, and saw that Yaya was indeed waving a cooked fish above my nose, and poking my cheek with it. Her face was disturbingly close, and I saw Tadase's beam hovering behind it. I wrinkled my nose and rubbed my face clean, sitting up. "What did you...?"

"We bought fish and chips!" Yaya announced. Tadase nodded cheerfully.

"And calamari," he added.

I giggled, rubbing my eyes. "Sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"It's okay!" Yaya dismissed. She handed me my share in a box. "Nice and salty! With lemons, see?"

I nodded. "It looks great." It looked and smelled extremely appetising.

We ate. Waves lapped at the shoreline, the sound coolly relaxing, and seagulls flapped around us. They came in swarms when Yaya fed them some chips, and eventually there were so many that we had to abandon our eating place. After that, we walked alongside the beach. I took off my shoes and rolled up my jean legs so I could wade in the water, until it got too cold. Yaya patted her knees rhythmically; practicing a drum-beat she was learning. She started teaching Tadase. For the most part I stayed quiet and listened to their chatter, just enjoying the atmosphere.

* * *

When at long last dusk began to fall, we tread up the grass slopes that would lead us back to the car park. Layers of colour hung across the horizon, the vivid sunset seeming to fall into the ocean until it was hard to tell where light ended and glittering water began. The sun's final rays scattered over the water, hurting my eyes. I breathed deeply and stretched my arms out, relishing the sight.

I was surprised when Yaya sighed glumly. Her pace had slowed, and she wrapped her arms around herself, head down.

"Is something the matter, Yaya?"

She shook her head, and then nodded. Tadase and I were silent. "Well..." her lip trembled. She blinked determinedly before she spoke. "It frightens Yaya a bit."

"What does?" I asked softly.

"When things change. It's sad." She clenched her hands around the hem of her cardigan. "People are always changing, and everything is changing... like when Mama and Papa had Tsubasa, or when you guys graduated elementary school, and then middle school... People are always leaving Yaya in one way or another. I wish they wouldn't. I wish we could just stay the same and play all the time, like today." Yaya finished and hugged herself a bit tighter.

My eyes softened, and I bit back a feeling of regret. I noticed Tadase's face sadden ruefully. He looked out over the water, though I didn't know what he could have been thinking about.

"Yaya..." I wrapped an arm around her and squeezed her comfortingly.

She dashed away a tear that had escaped. "I'm sorry I'm such a baby..." she whispered.

I shook my head. "Don't say that._ I'm_ not sorry. And you know, those things frighten us as well! All the time. But change isn't really something we can avoid, is it?"

She shook her head.

"But it doesn't always have to be a bad thing..." I looked around for some inspiration, and spotted the rollercoaster at the fair behind us. "Think of changing as a rollercoaster ride. You can anticipate the dips and loops, but you can't really know how the ride feels until it's happening," I told her. "It might be scary, but it might also be fun. And the fact that everything might be different one day is what makes each memory so important, isn't it?"

Yaya gave me a watery smile and nodded. "...Yeah!" She perked up and returned my hug. "Thanks, Nade."

I chuckled; glad to have cheered her up. "Don't mention it."

An instant later Yaya reached out her other arm and pulled Tadase into the hug. "Hey hey, don't think you're getting away!" she chirped.

He blinked in shock and nearly lost his balance. "Yaya-chan..."

Yaya laughed and Tadase and I gasped as she tugged down on both our arms, making herself heavy like a little child. Just before we tumbled down I broke free of Yaya's grasp and ran towards the buggy. "Race you!" I called over my shoulder.

"Hey!"

I reached the buggy first, laughing, exhilarated, as they caught up. Tadase chuckled and started up the vehicle, and Yaya chided me about my unfair head-start as we climbed in. She soon forgot all about it when we drove out and took in the full view of the brilliant sunset. Tadase and I gasped, and Yaya uttered an exclamation of shock as she bobbed up and down.

Violet blew before my eyes and obscured my view for a minute, and I realised that at some time in the excitement of the day, my hair had come loose from its ponytail. I hadn't even noticed. I reached into my pocket and took out a spare ribbon.

"Home?" Tadase asked as we turned out onto the road.

I swept my hair up and back into a high ponytail, and secured it in place with the ribbon. "Yep! Let's go home!"

* * *

**Kitase-chan: ...So, yeah. :) A light-hearted break from the drama. I truly apologise if it was boring or a bit OOC, xD.**

**Um, review? xD, Bye for now. Next chapter will definitely come sooner. And - hopefully - be better.**

**Yaya: ...? Eh? I get to say the disclaimer thing? :D**

**Kitase-chan: ^^ Yeah!**

**Yaya: She doesn't own Shugo Chara! C:**


	7. The Glue That Holds Us Together

**I suck. D': I really suck.**

**xD Hi guys. I'm really sorry for the long-time no-update, once again. Especially since I promised to have this chapter up months ago. **

**My second semester at uni started a couple of days after I uploaded the last chapter, and it was much more intense than I expected it to be. It just became really difficult to focus on writing fanfictions, and... yeah. xD Crappy excuse, but there it is.**

**I'm on holidays now, so hopefully I'll have more time to devote to this. I won't make any promises this time, though.**

* * *

The _Glue_ That _Holds_ Us _Together_

* * *

It was late, we were entertaining relatives, and I was going insane.

Not that it mattered to my repulsive aunt and uncle. Or for that matter, my mother, who was presently teetering on the border between tolerably tipsy and downright drunk. The scent of sake hung thickly in the air. It was nauseating.

But actually, I was holding up pretty well. I avoided most of my uncle's attempts at sleaziness without flinching, and didn't give it a second thought when my aunt asked my mother disbelievingly if I was truly her best dance student. When my uncle commented that it was a shame I was putting on weight, I put up a brave front and resisted the urge to character change and strangle him. But when my aunt pulled a face at my French dessert and I burst into tears, Nagihiko figured it was time for a break.

He wordlessly put him arm around my shoulder and ushered me out of the room. Once we were well out of earshot, he waited for me to calm down.

"They're insufferable!" I exclaimed tearfully.

"I know."

"They've been here for a _week_!"

"I know."

"I'm so tired."

"I know."

I hiccupped and sniffled again. Nagihiko chuckled softly, his face a mixture of amusement and sympathy, and put his arms around me. "Hey – sshh. They're leaving tomorrow. Just one more night, okay? Sshh." He rubbed my back in soothing circles.

I shook my head and put my hands over my face. "I can't handle one more night. I can't go back in there." I took a breath and wiped my eyes. "Although... the second act of the dance..."

Nagihiko stepped back and slung his hair up in a ponytail. He smiled, that enigmatic smile that was almost identical to mine. "I'll do it."

"...Really? But they..."

"I imagine they're so drunk at this point that they won't notice the difference."

I giggled and nodded. "Okay. Thanks, Nagi."

He nodded wordlessly as he adopted my movements and posture, before he swept back into the room with an expert's grace.

* * *

Morning was just beginning to mist through the dark green trees, and my mother and Nagihiko were already hurrying my aunt and uncle out to their car. Mother was low on patience thanks to her hangover, and Nagihiko merely disliked the two as much as I did. I had just left the bathroom and was loitering out of sight on the doorstep, not really wanting to go and see them off.

"Where's that girl?" I heard my aunt's voice from the driveway. "Is she puking again? It's not right for a growing girl to puke so much."

I grimaced, and I could picture my mother grimacing as well. I had made my mind up not to tell them about the pregnancy yet, and I had begged her not to do so either. It wasn't that I was afraid of what they thought – I just didn't want them knowing; I didn't want them having anymore to do with me than what was necessary. Admittedly, I wouldn't be able to conceal it for too much longer either way.

I popped my head out through the doorway, my face a mask of radiant friendliness. "Here I am, Aunty," I called. I even added to the act by skipping over to join them. "Leaving so soon?"

Nagihiko smothered a laugh. My uncle looked miserable that he had already gotten in the car. My aunt huffed. "I was just asking where you'd got to. It isn't polite not to bid your guests goodbye, Nadeshiko."

I smiled still more sweetly. "Sorry, Aunty."

"Uh-huh." At my mother's beckoning she bustled into the car.

My mother waved exaggeratedly as they drove off. "Goodbye! Have a safe trip!" Nagihiko pulled a face at the last sentence, and mother laughed and fought through her hangover to try and tell him off. "Respect your... oh, whatever. I need ice."

"Mother?" I asked as she turned to go back inside, and I followed.

"Mmhmm?"

"Can I go out with Kukai today?"

She fluttered her hand. "Yes, yes. Be back before dark."

I smiled and twirled on my feet slightly, remembering Kukai's call from the previous night. He had called just before I had gotten into bed.

"_Nadeshiko?" _He had sounded eager.

"_Kukai? What's up?"_

"_Go on a date with me tomorrow?"_

I'd taken the phone away from my mouth for a moment to giggle at how out of the blue he was_. "Sure! – I mean, yes. I'd love to."_

* * *

The doorbell rang, and I was at it in an instant. When I opened it, I couldn't help but gasp. "Kukai!"

He amazed me. Kukai stood at the doorstep dressed in... well, dressed in clothes a male model might wear. They really suited him. His hair was done, and he deliberately stood in a pose that conveyed _gentleman. _He even smelled like he was wearing cologne. In his hand he held a single freesia, which I had no idea how he'd managed to get at this time of year. He smiled quietly and tucked the flower into my hair. "Hey, Nade."

He pronounced _Nade_ as if it were all the words he thought weren't strong enough to describe me. His tone was happy, wistful and insurmountably sweet all at once, and my heart fluttered.

"What is this?" I breathed. He took both my hands and pulled me gently out onto the doorstep.

"I told you... we're going on a date." He finally cracked his trademark grin and wrapped his arms around me. "Haha! We haven't caught up in ages, not when it's been just us. Did you think I'd just let you get away from me? Not on your Nelly. So, we're going on a date." The warmth of Kukai's hugs was almost impossible not to miss when they weren't within reach.

I squeezed him back. "Not on my Nelly?"

"It's a saying, honest."

I chuckled softly and shook my head. "So? Where are we going?"

He looked up dubiously and placed a finger on his chin. "I was thinking... somewhere quiet, if you like. We could take a walk through the forest to the nature reserve north of Seiyo. To start with, I mean."

I nodded. "That sounds perfect."

Kukai twined his fingers through mine. I closed the door and patiently received a peck on the cheek, and then we were on our way.

* * *

[3rd._person_]

Branches swayed like hanging beams, the firs reaching down to brush the hair and clothes of passers-by. Faint sun filtered through the trees and bathed the ground in patterns of light, nature's own artwork. Children shouted, but always, the forest itself retained its air of quiet. It was barely past morning – but while other places whirred through their daily, hourly changes, it always seemed to be late afternoon, here.

She was beautiful. He thought so.

As they walked, Kukai wrapped his arm around Nadeshiko. She giggled, and then unwound his scarf from his neck and took off with it, quickly making her way through the trees she knew like the back of her hand.

"Hey!" Kukai exclaimed, laughing loudly. He chased Nadeshiko, easily catching up to her. When he reached her, he caught her in his arms and gently turned her face up towards his.

[3rd._person_. -end-]

* * *

My breath paused suddenly when Kukai kissed me. I hadn't been expecting it. But it was easy, this time, so much easier than I might have anticipated. I smiled giddily and kissed him back, reflecting on just how _right_ it felt.

Green eyes sparkled cheekily at me when we finally broke the kiss. "Aw, yeah. That's hot."

"Kukai!" I protested, blushing. He only grinned in response. I rolled my eyes and pushed him playfully, but he caught my wrist and enfolded me in yet another hug.

When our laughter died out, the forest once again lapsed into an easy quiet. Bird calls and wind in the trees seemed to be the only sounds, apart from ours. I listened to Kukai's breathing.

Eventually he brushed his lips against my ear and whispered, "There's something I've been wanting to talk to you about."

I nodded, watching him. We walked again, but kept our hands entwined.

Kukai was silent for a while. I didn't badger him, knowing that Kukai sometimes took a while to form the words to express exactly what he meant, and that when he was ready, the words would come. After a minute or two, he looked over at me. "Lately, it's been... hard for me to see where my place is in your life."

I nodded mutely, though my throat tightened a little at that.

He continued. "I mean – you're going to be a _parent_. That's ins- I mean, it's not insane, but it's..." He took a breath. "This is real; it's probably too real for me to comprehend. Nadeshiko, you're my whole world. You know it." His voice became smaller somehow. Less sure. "But I feel like you've become an adult in the time it's taken me to blink, and... I feel like you're so far away from me now."

"Kukai..." I began helplessly.

He squeezed my hand. "Don't get me wrong. I'm going to be here. I _want_ to be here. But the baby... it's going to need a father figure, not some guy who's just a boyfriend." His eyes studied mine. "I know we don't have to decide everything right now. But do you think we can make it work?"

I nodded once more, this time allowing tears to spill out as I pulled Kukai into a hug and held him close. "We can." I sniffled, and laughed without knowing why. "I'm sure we can. I know we can. Things won't be so hard... Mother is going to help out financially, and Ikuto's stepping up to the plate. We'll make time, even if it's only a little bit. Let's just take it slow, okay? You and I... we'll make it work."

Kukai breathed out in relief. He returned the hug. "Take it slowly. Yeah, I got it." He ruffled my hair. "Love you."

And how I knew it. "Love you, too."

* * *

By the time we began to head home, late afternoon had settled in. The day was still quiet. But as we walked, I found myself thinking that this hush was more foreboding. Trying to fight a feeling I couldn't quite place, I wrapped my arm around Kukai's and clung close to him.

Kukai looked at me curiously. "What's the matter, babe?"

I shrugged and shook my head wordlessly.

We turned on to my street. Kukai's brow creased as he stared further down the road, not quite understanding. A short distance ahead of us, vehicles were parked haphazardly and off-coloured lights were flashing. A small crowd had gathered and now hovered around the area, unsure of what to do with themselves. But the scene was wrong.

I knew. I knew as soon as I saw the ambulance. I jerked free from Kukai and rushed forwards, barely hearing as he called out, "Nadeshiko!"

I ran and didn't halt until I had reached the edges of the crowd. In the midst of them a woman was on the ground, sobbing, her arms clasped around her frail shoulders. I gazed at her, transfixed and aghast for a moment. My knees shook. I thought they might buckle. Kukai caught up to me, panting. He gripped my shoulder. "Nadeshiko, _what?_"

A man I didn't know was scanning the crowd. When he laid eyes on me, he recognised me instantly. He came forward. "Nadeshiko Fujisaki?"

I nodded numbly. Kukai stared at the man questioningly, his face folded in worry and utter confusion.

The man hesitated and cleared his throat. "Your brother's been in an accident."

* * *

**And so ends chapter seven.**

**I hope this chapter was worth the wait? /shot;**

**xDD Of course it wasn't. OTL But I'm hoping the cliffhanger was dramatic enough, at least.**

**Leave a little review, if you like? c:**

**Thanks for reading~!**


End file.
